7 Secrets to Having Lots of Friends

Want to know the secret to attracting people to yourself and making lots of friends? Be like Jeff!

The anniversary of our brother-in-law’s passing is approaching again this week. While that certainly brings sadness and a renewed sense of loss, I’d like to celebrate Jeff’s life by remembering some of his great qualities.

At his funeral, someone said, “I always felt like I was Jeff’s best friend.” I thought about the comment later, and I realized everyone who knew him thought that. It was so true. He knew the secret to making you feel like you were special, and I believe that attracted people to him. 

You can have dozens of “best friends” like Jeff if you practice these things:

1. Be positive. Jeff hated negativity and would always point it out and correct it. People are attracted to positivity because it is uplifting. Especially in today’s culture, a person who is always positive stands out as a beacon and is attractive to others.
2. Live in the moment. Jeff focused on who he was with, while he was with them. He wasn’t looking at his phone or his watch—he was looking at them and giving them his full attention. They knew the time he had with them was important to him because he was present in the moment.
3. Laugh a lot. Everyone who knew Jeff could probably recount a bad joke he told them…over and over again. But I bet they’d smile just thinking of it. Jeff loved to make people laugh and did the corniest things to achieve his goal, like the old “What’s that on your shirt?” trick or talking in his Donald Duck voice. Do whatever works for you, but remember that everyone loves a happy person.
4. Make music everywhere you go. Jeff was a musician and loved to play his guitar and sing. It was always an adventure to ride with him in his truck, because he would constantly skip through his playlist and sing while drumming on the steering wheel. There are certain Eagles, Doobie Brothers, and Johnny Cash songs (among many) that we all associate with him whenever we hear them. Jeff would often just start randomly singing something wherever he was. It always brought a smile to people’s faces and lifted the atmosphere in the room.
5. Give generously. I’ve always thought there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. Jeff was an enormous giver, and I believe he was blessed because of it. You couldn’t buy Jeff lunch because he would never let you pay when you were with him. Sometimes that was aggravating, but his generous spirit was part of what made him so loveable to so many people.
6. Don’t hold grudges. Jeff didn’t take offense or let people make him angry. I worked for him in his business for a time, and even when someone made a huge, costly mistake, Jeff would just patiently deal with the issue and then use what happened as a teaching opportunity. There were times when people took advantage of Jeff’s giving heart and he got burned. Sometimes in a big way. But he didn’t get angry or bitter. He forgave them, let it go, and moved on.
7. Enjoy Life. Jeff loved a lot of things. He loved his wife, his family, his friends, and Jesus. He also loved good food, boating, road trips, music, golfing, parties, home projects, his new truck, riding his motorcycle, watching movies while eating peanuts in the shell, good long talks, learning new things, meeting new people – the list goes on and on. Jeff loved living, and it showed. And people wanted to join in with him while he was enjoying it. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, Jeff wasn’t perfect. No one is. But he was a really good guy and lots of people still miss him and the positive influence he had on their lives. 

Do you want people to like you? Do you want to have more friends? Then be like Jeff!

Tell us about people you know or have known who are like Jeff, or give us your tips for how to have lots of friends in the comments.